Playing with Sakura
by shinzona
Summary: Setting: Tokyo Babylon - Actors: SubaruSeishiroHokuto - Plot: Subaru plays with fire - Ending:? Scary, neh? Go read it and bring along the fire brigade...
1. Round 1: Challenge

**_Playing with Sakura_**_ by Shinzona_

_Disclaimers:_

_Rated PG -13_

_SPOILERS FOR TB and X1999. Those 2 chefs d'oeuvre belong to CLAMP (who else?)I hate Tokyo Babylon! I hate the ending for Subaru and Seishiro in X1999! (grr, stupid men!) All you had to do is COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER! Look what you've done to each other! Well, actually you've killed each other and all that remains is a soulless body (the rest of Subaru) with a Sei-chan implant. You disgust me. Both of you! You deserve each other! (sobs)_

_SLAP! Oh, Gomen Nasai! (blush with overdose of sweatdrops) So sorry Sei-chan and Suby! Please forgive me! But those strong emotions are the result of angst/despair/heartache/denial/sakura/...That was just my psychotic schizophrenic nature taking control over me. I'll just move on with the story, dear readers._

_Please be gentle with me. I'm experimenting. This fiction is OUT of CHARACTER! (duh, why would it otherwise be called fiction?!) Also, English isn't my native language, French is. So, I'm a long way from Voltaire's register. Enjoy!_

_Oh yes, before I forgot, thanks to Purple Cloud for beta-reading._

**Round 1: Challenge**

"Argh!" I'll never catch it! Damn Shikigami! And he makes me run those endless stairs to reach those railways! I was there just a couple of minutes ago! Looks like I'm running back in circles. Stupid Shiki! Why am I drawn to you? You'll be my undoing. Those damn clothes sure aren't helping either, they'll make me fall one day! Maybe that day has come...

Now what?! "Waah!" Baka! Great, just great. I had to land flat on my face...again and around all those people. They're surely enjoying this spectacle. I can be so clumsy sometimes. How could I not? With those extravagant clothes I'm wearing it's like I'm challenging danger. And just look at that Shiki laughing hysterically. Grrr, I'll get you some day. Stupid volatile!

"Let me help you get up"

"...Euh, w-wha...?!" Who said that? I'm still dazzled and angry at my hopeless attempts to catch a ghost only I can see and is pestering me with its shrieking. I hate birds.

"Are you okay?"

"..." I'm not dead okay! Stop treating me like that! And what's with that gentle smile? You don't fool me. You insult me just by showing me attention and pretend like you only have eyes for me.

"Here, let me wipe off your face. You fell pretty nasty. Lucky you weren't harmed badly. Actually I saw you falling from the other side of the platform."

Who's that guy, anyway? I steal a glance of his dominating silhouette. Hmm, interesting. Very interesting, indeed. Expensive clothes, attractive face, well-mannered. A lawyer/doctor, perhaps? No, no I know! A future politician serving the people in need! That must be it! Nope, his aura's different from his looks. Under this geek hides a predator. I'm sure of it!

"...Euh, thanks, sorry for bothering you, I'm so sorry..." What else could I say. Let's blush. He'll feel sorry for me. And that's the way a young boy should react when someone else's grabs your lower-arms trying to help you get up. Oh, such strong hands. Definitely a doctor's.

"Let me introduce myself, my name's Seishiro Sakurazuka, I'm a humble veterinarian and I own a petite cabinet just a few blocks from here. Please, it would be my pleasure to heal your wounds. You have a few scratches on your face. I couldn't stand seeing those nasty cuts getting infected."

You would, wouldn't you? I mean trying to get a kick of helping your ego to reach a peek. And it's so easy working your charms down on a lost lamb. Oh well, I'll just go along with the flow.

What now? Oh, so cute...rolling eyes...inside my head where no-one can see. You're wiping my face with your silk handkerchief and without any disgrace you're exploring every trait of my face. You don't waste your time, neh, Sei-chan.

"Oh, S-Seishiro-san! I don't want to bother you. These are just some scratches, I'll be fine. I'm sorry I'm such a bother."

"No, I insist. I want to help you, truly. What is your name?

He's so persistent! Reminds me of someone. Yes, I remember now. This enchanting dark aura. It was some time ago, but I remember it so vividly like it was yesterday.

"...m-my name's Subaru...Subaru Sumeragi..." Blushing harder. Looking guilty/angsty...the lot. Only for him.

"Well then, Subaru-kun. Let's go to my cabinet"

To be continued...

_A/N: And? Want to see the rest of 'Playing with Sakura'? Then...REVIEW! please, just click down below on the "review" button (big smile)_

_And yes, Subaru's so out of character! Well, in the inside anyway..._

_Seishiro doesn't have a clue...at all. __Now, does he really?___


	2. Round 2: General Checkup

_**Playing with Sakura** by Shinzona_

_Disclaimers:_

_TB/X1999 was created by the prestigious CLAMP._

_In this chapter no animals/vets/doctors/onmyouji were harmed, although..._

_Subaru's OOC, you have been warned. His 'thoughts' don't perfectly correlate with his 'words'._

_Seishiro's inner depths aren't revealed (yet), cos everything he said/did in TB/X1999 is irrelevant, they're were all beautiful lies. LIES! He's such a deceiving person and likes to manipulate his environment to achieve his own dark aims. Gives him a full sense of control and power.That's how I define SEISHIRO-SAN's POWER! And I like it (hearts)._

_Enjoy this next chapter. If you have any comments, please let me know, don't let me fall in a bottomless abyss, but enlighten me with your insights. I only exist for you, readers..._

_BIG THANKS for the reviews!!! I appreciate it!_

**Round 2: General Check-up**

"Please take a seat, Subaru-kun. I'm just going to grab some medicine in the storage room. I'll be back in a minute."

"...ah, arigato, Seishiro-san..." I'm wandering over this intimidating, well-lit, clean room while I'm sitting on this high operating table. Seishiro-san's huge back disappears behind the storage's door while I'm having difficulties with the plastic sheet on this dark green leather table. Hygienic metallic instruments are nicely set in compartments behind glasses in cupboards. Next, I'm gazing at the various coloured wall posters presenting the wonders of animals' internal organs. So fascinating, countless of tissues with Latin-given names. Yet, it gives me the creeps just trying to locate those places inside of my own body. Nonetheless, I'm trying to understand the meaning of it all. Introspection, waah! And I'm not even an animal, although my sister always finds the opportunity to treat me like a lost little puppy. So degrading. Not that those animals are inferior, don't get me wrong. Well, actually they are, in the physical sense, just look at their morphology. A human's is far more complex and requires more study to fully comprehend. I think? But it doesn't mean that you shouldn't treat animals with less respect. They are a so-called 'lower form of life', but we, humans, wouldn't have evolved to our stage of 'higher life forms', without passing through their stage?

Why did you study to become a veterinarian, Seishiro-san? A local GP title would have been a more suited alibi to mask your bloody 'true' profession and secondly more rewarding for an ambitious man like you, wouldn't it? Not that some deserve it more than others. You know what I mean. Just look at the status and privileges you're given while practicing human's medicine. While being an animal's doctor, you're first automatically called 'Vet', then 'doctor', like it's a drag of some sort. Well, scrap all that, it's just prejudice nonsense. It doesn't matter, if you 'like' the job you're practicing or are devoted for the rest of your working days then it's okay, really, I guess...

"..ouch!..."Why did you do that for? Both my gloved hands clutch at the plastic sheet. That stings! Now, I'm really turning scarlet! I Don't have to pretend. And how come I didn't saw you closing in on me? It's not like you're invisible. Although I recall you having some great magical capabilities, I can't permit myself letting my shields drop. It's me again and my lunatic nature. I should learn to get rid of it and be more aware. I know I'm capable of it. I just have to focus, besides I'm just a few inches of a powerful man. How long have I been looking forward for this rematch.

"I'm sorry Subaru-kun, I didn't mean to startle you. But it was preferable to not prepare you while I put on the disinfectant. Are you okay?"

You're so irresistible when you look concerned, but are you really? Because by judging your past motives, I strongly doubt it. I'm wondering why you're acting as though you've never seen me before. Have I grown so much that my traits drastically changed? Surely, you remember something, you were 18 at that time. Did you suffer from amnesia after our encounter? It was the meeting of a lifetime! Why did you put so much effort introducing yourself at Ikebukuro? You didn't have to make me recall your name. You thought I wouldn't remember YOU? Sure, I was so young and you took pity of me, only a bit. But frankly, now, you shouldn't underestimate me and my psychic powers. And you, reaching 25, you matured considerably and put up a much more unbreakable demeanour. Your aura's more controlled as you'll like me to believe. Are you hiding something? What is it?

"Subaru-kun."

"...Y-yes?..." Geez, what now! I'm going to have an heart attack for NOT paying attention. I hope Hokuto isn't prying into my brain right now! Cos this privileged treatment by Seishiro-san isn't me doing any good. I'm absentmindedly drowning in his experienced hands resulting in losing myself in thoughts and losing grip of reality. This is so unhealthy! That's maybe why I'm paying a visit to the doctor's...Oh, you're wearing glasses now? So, all those years in college back lashed at your visual capabilities. Poor Sei-chan. You're not at your full powers like 9 years ago. Oh well, it'll work into my advantage, cos I'll need it.

"You're staring...but I don't mind. I'm not going to hurt you, you know. You're so cute when you look like that."

"..." Grrr, he caught me off guard. Again. Tell me if I'm wrong, but did my lower-jaw just fell open? So embarrassing, especially when he's putting an angelical smile. I hate it when people do that. Taking advantage of a person so easily by saying dead simple magical spells covered with futile cheeky words. Maybe when I'll be more grown up, I'll learn the trick and do the same. It's just a matter of time. Gulp, why's he staring at me now? Is he going to admit he knows what I knows? His powerful aura's enveloping me. A penny for your thoughts? Onegai. Does he remember? NO, no don't sit next to me. Yuck, my hands are getting sweaty making my black gloves all sticky.

"Subaru-kun?"

"H-hai?" I start swinging with my legs with at slow pace. It's like I'm drifting and it evacuates all this strange tension out of my body. I'll have to swing harder cos the silence is driving me slightly nuts.

"Would you like something to drink? I can offer you some tea, if you want. ..." I slowly nodded and off he went to another room without letting me start another phrase. So weird, this whole charade. Does he really don't have any recollection, whatsoever of what happened 9 years ago? He looks so laid-back. Maybe I'm mistaken him for another, but I'm so positive about it. He's the one I encountered under that Sakura tree! His aura's radiance isn't what it's supposed to be, but the core's still the same, I can feel it! And how can you mistake such a delightful presence. It's him! I'm sure of it! And the name Sakurazuka, that says it all. Sure there are hundreds of Sakurazuka in the country, but that doesn't matter. It's him!

"Subaru-kun! Would you like some vanilla creamed cookies along with that tea!"

"...sure, anything's good Seishiro-san..." What did he just say? Vanilla creamed what??? He's asking me what I want with my tea? Shouldn't he be more worried about something else, for example, I dunno, what happened some time ago! My eyes are filled with unshed tears. This is so stressful and frustrating. Doesn't he remember? He thinks I don't remember and wants to lay it off a bit? Or he doesn't want to remember? You're in denial, Seishiro-san? You're panicking? Well, I'll let it rest and 'play' along, just to see where 'this' is heading to. And yes, I'm quite thirsty, so bring along the beverages!

"..." What's that faint presence closing on on me? Where is it coming from? Hey! It's just beneath me. I'll take a peep by carefully letting my head drop between my legs and probing the pale marble surface. Ooh! There you are! Aren't you the mushiest fluffiest thingy I've ever seeeen! Come to Suuuuby!

"...argh!..." He bit me! That dog took a grab of my gloved hand! Let go of me! AAAWwww! I'm losing my balance! Don't drag me of the table. Little bastard! I hope Seishiro-san doesn't see me all sprawled on the floor...oups...too late. Sooo embarrassing.

"Subaru-kun! Are you feeling well! Did you faint?"

"...no, no, Seishiro-san...the dog..." Bwah! What's he thinking of me right now? As one of Japan's most powerful white onmyouji or a little boy who isn't a match against a sick little puppy? I really don't want to know. I never thought I could fall so low...

"Luckily, I'm here to rescue you, Subaru-kun. Here, let me help you get up. Did Ebony hurt you?"

Sigh. Seishiro-san/Subaru-kun: 1-0. Sigh.

"...arigato Seishiro-san. No, I-I'm fine, just a bit dizzy, but it'll pass..." All lies, but necessary to keep up front. I can do this.

Oh, this scenery's so touching. I wish I could paint that moment into a breathtaking aquarelle and delicately frame it. Seishiro-san's holding little wide-eyed Ebony into his arms and strokes its back with intensive care. You sure know how to calm one's nerves into a blink of an eye, neh Seishiro-san. I'm mesmerized with that serious and devoted look. The puppy fixes you like God's representative. This gaze you once gave me 9 years ago. You recall that moment under the Sakura, that intoxicating experience?

"Don't mind Ebony, she's a feisty tempered one. Actually, I'm wondering how she escaped from her settlement. I guess she can't stand it to be confined in a small compartment and managed a way to free herself."

I can't take this anymore! Why am I suddenly so agitated again? Why's this situation so wrong, but feels right in a wicked kinda way? My magical abilities tell me that 'that man', Seishiro Sakurazuka isn't the right person. It's not him. Then why is my heart telling me otherwise, what's drawing me close to him? Why isn't he reacting? Why's he looking so immensely sad while pampering the puppy? That's so confusing. Something cruel has happened? I need to know! Surely, I've left signals all over the place to make him confront me or at least to engage the first round. On my side, it would be childish and coward to keep it away. Better let it out. What will I say? How'll I ask him or how'll I get it out of him? A 'do you remember 9 years ago' or bluntly 'you're the Sakurazukamori, isn't it?' I feel like I'm going to be sick...

"Do you like this tea? It's Sakura tea. I've put some sugar in it to enhance the taste at its fullest. It's wonderful, isn't it?

I inhale the scent. The vapours are empowering my whole face, stroking my half closed eyes. The tea's like you. Seishiro-san. You've settled yourself close to me. The cup is really hot, but I don't mind, my heart is beating so fast, it'll pop out any minute. I'm going to be really sick. I want to end this game. Right now. I have so many doubts and you can make them all go away. Don't be so cruel. Oh well, if you won't dig up the past. I WILL.

"...Seishiro-san..."

"Yes, Subaru-kun?"

"...euh, I don't know how to ask this, but..."

"Yes, go on. What's the matter?

You don't feel well?"

"No, I'm alright. Well actually, it goes like this..." Don't look me like that, it's not like I'm going to end your life right now. Well, 'you' on the contrary are torturing me. And don't talk, just hush. That soothing voice makes my head melt.

"Subaru-kun, a little advice from me, just let it out."

No, I said, no more talking, just listening...to me. His nostalgic eyes are fixing me like they're piercing right through me. It's like what I'm going to say is already out in bookstores and shouldn't be bothered wasting breath upon. How can that be? Oh, crap, a single sweat drop escapes from my upper neck and makes its descent. Don't mind physical reactions. They're just natural after all. I'm swallowing this big ball of tension.

Okay here we go...

..._9 years ago..._

Enough playing around...

..._that day..._

Gather some courage and spit it out...

..._that moment..._

"Seishiro-san, ..."

... _the one under the Sakura Tree... _

"Subaru-kun...?"

... _the one whose life you spared..._

"...do you remember what happened..."

..._I still wear the scars of our encounter..._

"SUBARU-CHAN! SUBARU-CHAN! ARE YOU ALRIGHT???"

I'm going to cry. In heaven's name, what are you doing here, Hokuto-chan!!!?

_To be continued_

_TB wouldn't be complete without Hokuto Sumeragi. She's like the glue who holds those two protagonists together. I really do believe that. She's their booster in human form._

_Ebony's well, Seishiro's puppy. The poor thing was left behind by a couple of youngsters who couldn't take care of the fury animal. They couldn't afford bringing him along on their sunny escapade in the southern of France. So they told Seishiro-san..._

_Anyway, if you want to read the next chappie, review and I'll put my heart and soul into the third. Any constructive suggestions are always welcome!!!_

_Come on, just click on 'review'._

_And all X/TB-cast will love you FOREVER, especially Sei-chan!_

_Beta-reader note: Sakura tea... No, it's not one of my crazy-TB-fan girl-invention. It actually does exist! I visited one of those specialised tea-stores with hundreds of flavours and there was this one who smelled fruity and sweet... It really waked my nose-senses! When I looked at the constitution of the leaves, I just couldn't believe what my eyes were telling me: "a Japanese green tea scented with cherry blossom"... or something like that. Of course, I had to buy it and I'm now the happy-crazy owner of a bag of Sakura-tea! And it tastes gooooood... Got to buy more... more... more..._


	3. Round 3: Secretly Guessing

**Playing with Sakura _by Shinzona_**

_Disclaimers:_

_Is Clamp selling some shares in X and TB? I want to own a bit of those works, but I don't have the money, I'm still a college student...sigh_

_Anyway, thanks to the persons who reviewed this fic! That really gives me courage to develop the story further! Suggestions are always welcome. Gomen for not updating this fic any sooner!_

_Thanks to Purple Cloud for beta-reading._

**Round 3: secretly guessing**

"...well?..."

"...what?..."

"You know what I'm asking you."

"Do I?"

"Come on! You're hiding something!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Hokuto-chan."

"You know what I'm talking about! Say something!"

"Like what?"

"Argh! Tell me, tell me. I want to know!"

"There's NOTHING to know."

"If you say it like that, then there MUST be something going on!"

"Is that so? You're just imagining things, Hokuto-chan. You should ask for an appointment with Seishiro-san."

"And why's that?"

"Well, it's perfectly clear that you're suffering from hallucinations. And pestering your poor little brother about it is affecting his health, you know."

"Subaru-chan! Stop playing games with me. As your big sister I demand you to tell me the full story and every detail."

"And as clan head I'm ignoring this."

"Fine. And besides, Seishiro-san's a vet, he treats 'animals'..."

"My point exactly..."

This type of inquisition with Hokuto-chan went on until I was all exhausted and couldn't hear myself think anymore. She can be so persistent at times! We finished after she threatened telling everything to grandmother. Protectively, I kept my stoic self and buried myself in lies. I would have told her about my 'findings' just to put me out of 'my' misery.

But salvation didn't come. I bit on my teeth and went on with the denial by applying effective meditating techniques. They appeared to be working but my mind wasn't at ease at all. Hokuto-chan would eventually accuse me of treachery due to my lies. Denial and lies are all the same, she would stubbornly point out. Are they really?

If you don't choose to tell the 'truth', is it a lie? Or is it just postponing the truth for a more suited time? Telling a lie is obediently telling something totally different than the 'truth'. Denial is choosing not to answer a particular question. Is it considered being a lie? I chose not to choose...

Well, I'll find out her reactions when I eventually will spit my guts. She would have known it sooner if she hadn't barged in like she did a couple of hours ago in Seishiro-san's cabinet. It's her own fault! I was so demotivated I wanted to vanish into oblivion and pretend this meeting with Seishiro-san never, ever, existed. Even puppy Ebony started to bark madly at her and didn't stop until Seishiro-san calmed her with his forced upon care. Occasionally I even doubt we're twins. Hokuto-chan...

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"SUBARU-CHAN! SUBARU-CHAN! Over here!"

We for example differ in the noisy-factor... gosh Hokuto-chan! Why do you insist on everyone to notice you? And targeting all that raw energy at me. I hate it when you do that. Envy would be more suited to describe what I'm feeling. I wish I was more upfront and open about my instincts. Well, forcing them to come out isn't an option. In time maybe, I'll destroy my inner barriers. But not now. I'm not ready for this, yet. Creating a stable personality from the inside is my top priority. You can act for the both of us and let it all out, Hokuto-chan. I don't mind the genkiness as long as I don't drown in it from exhaustion.

"Ah Hokuto-chan, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I couldn't abandon my poor little brother while he was working extremely hard for our clan. And to recompense you for it, I brought you a little surprise. You'll love it! Ah, I'm so proud of my ideas! I should write a book!"

"Euh ...about what, Hokuto-chan?"

"Here's your prize!"

"W-what are you talking about, Hokuto-chan? What present?"

"You'll adore it! You can thank me later! But before you can receive your present properly and untie the beautiful ribbons, I'll give you a small clue of what your present is about! It'll be so much fun to see you guessing your present! Let's see? Listen carefully, cos I won't repeat it twice, little brother! Firstly, it's not an object! Well, you can debate on it if you want..."

"A present, Hokuto-chan?"

"Yes, sleepy head! A present for you! Come on, guess what it is! It's not an object! HAHA!"

"...nani? If it's not an 'object', then it's...a 'subject', like in a 'person'?..."

"Verrrrry gooood, Subaru-chan! You're so clever when activating those magical brain cells once in a while! I'm proud of being your sister. Can you put your finger on your present yet?"

What is she babbling about? My vision is blurring a bit. Hokuto-chan's voice's fading out. I'm listening to her but her words aren't getting through me. Why is this bubble preventing me to reach her? What's happening to me? It feels like I'm loosing grip on reality.

Focus, Subaru, focus. I'm closing my eyelids just to gain a bit of self-control. I don't want my sister to see me unbalanced again, like in Seishiro-san's cabinet. I don't want another lecture from her. I clench my fists and forcefully open my eyes. My mind is going frantic. I'm going frantic.

"Hokuto-chan. What is 'it'? I don't want to play this ridiculous game. Tell me!"

"Neh, Subaru-chan, why are you losing your patience? Nonetheless, I'll give you another clue. Your prizie's dangerously handsome, is very tall and dresses elegantly. Quite a match I would say."

"I don't have time for this. I must prepare for my late night shift in the Tower..."

"Please, let me accompany you, Subaru-kun."

"..." Seishiro-san? What the heck are you doing here! Damn, my list of troublesome elements has just gotten a bit longer. Just look nice and act polite. There's nothing he can do. Perhaps he'll vanish in a couple of minutes and return to whatever he was attending to. Don't stay here, Seishiro-san. I don't want you here too close to me. Your mere presence is affecting my self-esteem. Especially in front of Hokuto-chan. Her suspicions will grow for sure when she'll unravel my strange acting in front of you.

"SUBARU-CHAN! Seishiro-san's your PRESENT! Isn't that wonderful! You can lend him for the rest of the day...and the night!"

"H-Hokuto-chan! I'm n-not...!"

"Hush, little brother! You can thank me later! And don't leave Sei-chan standing there like a lost lamb! He has needs you know."

"Don't worry, Hokuto-chan, I'm not waiting for Subaru-kun to respond. Yet. He's under severe shock, I shouldn't have stumbled on him that harshly. I'll be more considerate in the future, Subaru-kun. By the way, you look so cute today. Is that a new outfit? It looks so good on you and matches your eyes perfectly."

"...arigato, Seishiro-san..." Why can't I get through the formalities and say something more constructive? It's like something is blocking my vocal cords to let anything with deeper meaning to resound any further. Is it a lock attached on the entrance of my mouth? Has anyone got a spare key? Crap, I'm blushing. Again. But the dizziness has faded away. Strange, it happened when I became aware of Seishiro-san's presence. How can that be? Is it a coincidence?

"Sei-chan! You bought some ice-cream! How thoughtful of you! You act like a true gentleman."

"Hokuto-chan, I hope Subaru-kun likes cherry ice-cream. In case Subaru would develop a dislike for it, I put vanilla, pistachio, banana, coconut, praline, dame-blanche and strawberry flavoured ice-cream in case Subaru-kun doesn't like cherry ice-cream. As garniture you'll find a couple of chocolate sprinkles, glace cherries and to finish this cone, there's even a little blackberry on top of it."

"Waaaah! Sei-chan! That looks delicious! Have you forgotten the whipped cream!? Subaru-chan's crazy about it! You haven't forgotten it, neh?"

"Don't worry, Hokuto-chan, it's there, on the right side hidden encircling the dame blanche one. And thank you for complementing me for my courtesy. Your radiance embellishes the entire place and don't let me mention that brilliant smile of yours."

"HOHOHO, Sei-chan, you're so accurate in wording! I'm intrigued why any other girl didn't kidnap you earlier? But now you're settled, right, with Subaru-kun?"

"And I'm fully devoted to him, and only him!"

"You're so right! You should follow your dreams and vanquish all obstacles! And to make your struggle more worthy...where's my ice-cream? You didn't forget your sister-in-law's ice-cream, I hope?"

"Oh, gomen Hokuto-chan, I'll go get another one, I've only bought 2 ice-creams. One for Subaru-kun and one for me."

"Don't worry about it. If you don't mind I'm longing for the taste, so I'm just going to lick..."

Back to reality. NOW! I am NOT seeing this. Step away from my sister, Seishiro-san! And you, Hokuto-chan, what's that attitude? Pain. My eyes are burning. Why are they torturing me like that? Don't they see I'm boiling inside? I'm going to have a core breach any minute. Evacuate! While they're having the time of their lives, I, on the contrary I'm stuck with this developing headache.

A cruel dilemma.

Who's that man? Who's Seishiro Sakurazuka? I still haven't gotten an answer to my question. My suspicions aren't well founded. I know I met a certain man with the same dark and intimidating aura, but if it's the same person, it has somehow altered. In the sensitive and oppressed way. It's like the signature's the same but the package's been altered somehow. How is that possible? I don't know. I must extract those answers out of him.

But not here. Not like this. And with my sister suffocating me, I won't breathe any words through my mouth. Is she also plotting against me? About learning the truth? No, she's instead totally ignorant about it. She's totally unaware and keeps chatting with that mysterious person. Shamelessly playing along as I'm silently crumbling inside.

It's saddening me even more because Hokuto and I never kept anything from each other. Due to our blood, we synchronically shared almost everything. Now, I'm breaking that habit by being more secretive as I could be with my reserved nature. Before, Hokuto-chan wouldn't take any pleasure out of letting me go with secrets wandering inside my head. On the contrary, she would have them exposed so she can analyse them to the fullest. She would openly dig like an effective detective.

Those days are gone. We're growing apart. And I'm the first to notice it. Recklessly, I've paved that alternate and lonesome route with its primal deciding stone. A small wall erected with a first secret brick. In the past, Hokuto-chan and I never faced to such a problem before. We always looked alike and naturally complemented each other.

Nonetheless, Hokuto-chan respects me. She would never inquire me about my work or the duties forced upon me as clan head. It was rarely an issue, but for the rest, such as with Seishiro-san, she doesn't stop, nothing could stop her. Social matters are her area and she's proudly wearing the role of the queen at match-making.

Now that I think about it... She doesn't know that my weird attitude is caused by Seishiro-san's presence. The deeper meaning of this affair is escaping her detective senses? Suspicions towards Seishiro-san haven't risen yet? Or is my sister waiting for me to completely open up to her like in our childhood? Therefore, she's indirectly respecting my decisions. Or is she provoking me by showing a perverted display with Seishiro-san? Is indifference is putting on a new show unlike this morning's feisty argue with my sister?

Is Seishiro-san clumsily enjoying himself? I don't know how to interpret his attitude towards my sister and me...

The view from the building is breathtaking. I've never imagined this kind of heights could have this effect on someone's mind. Looking up the window, it's like having the world at your feet. But then again, when looking down, the world is indeed at your feet.

Those tiny spots, travelling at different speed, are they really people? No, they ought to be more. Each dot carries the burden of its own story... just like me... just like Seishiro-san.

Just like ours.

Everything seems so much simpler from above. Does that red spot know there's a traffic jam around the corner? Maybe he will be late for an important rendezvous or so. Knowing things others don't, does it make you superior? It certainly provides you with a tool to help others.

Or it gives you an advantage in times of threat. Threat... Seishiro-san... I'm still wrestling with the knowledge I think I detain about you... I'll just have to gather heaven's strength and ask you straightaway. I can do this.

Following the steps of those little parts of life makes my head spin around. Whoa... the height is a bit too much to handle. But looking around at eye-level in the Tower won't help me focus either: another source of dizziness is lurking around me.

I want to leave. But I'm stuck in this oversized Tower. Stuck with his piercing gaze unbalancing me without any notice.

I want to be somewhere else. I can't stand the coldest confusion...at night.

But something's surrounding me. Embracing me with its loving affection.

"Subaru-kun?"

"H-hai, Seishiro-san?"

"Did you like your cherry ice-cream? Wasn't it too sweet?"

"No, Seishiro-san...I liked it, I mean I liked the sweet taste very much..."

"I'm happy you liked it. Is cherry your favourite flavour?"

"...yes, it is actually..."

"It's mine too. I'm so glad that we've found some common ground.

It's so magnificent."

"...w-what is...?"

"You've never visited Tokyo Tower at night, Subaru-kun?"

"No, I never did."

"There's a first time for everything. I'm glad you shared it with me then."

"I am too, Seishiro-san. Tell me, Seishiro-san, why do you particularly like Tokyo?"

"The view is so wonderful especially at night. I admire this city. Did you notice that Tokyo radiates more with life when the sun vanishes?. It's as if the day is covering this intimate bounding with its inhabitants. The night lets Tokyo breathe and sets it free in a certain way. You can smell it at the cool night air. It deeply drifts into your skin leaving a memorable sensation. Look. You can almost reach each of those tiny lights stretched across the city as if they we're reaching out to you."

"...yes, it's lovely."

"But I mostly prefer Tokyo because it isn't aware about its slow decline..."

"...Seishiro-san..."

"Oh, Subaru-kun, are you cold? I should have informed you that temperature could drop rapidly and without warning. The air can be very chilly for the skin if not properly dressed. And I see you're only wearing a jacket."

"I'm fine, just a bit..."

"Let me feel your hands...see, I'm spot on! You're freezing! Even though you're wearing gloves I can feel that iciness radiating from you."

"..."

"Gosh, you're trembling. Here have my coat. There, doesn't it feel better?"

"...a-arigato, Seishiro-san."

"Let me feel those hands again. Ah, you're warming up, that's excellent!"

"Yes, it feels good."

"Being here feels good too. Even though the view's overwhelming, this feeling of completion is mostly rewarded to the perfect company, Subaru-kun."

"Y-you really think that?"

"Of course, Subaru-kun."

"B-but why? I mean how do you...?"

"Because I enjoy your company. Don't you, Subaru-kun?"

"...Seishiro-san, I wanted to ask you..."

"My! Look at the time! It's past 3 am! You surely must be exhausted. And don't you have to wake up early tomorrow? And I wouldn't dare imaging a worried Hokuto-chan questioning where you are right now. Come, Subaru-kun, let me accompany you to your apartment."

"..."

Seishiro-san...why am I always speechless around you?

I don't understand how you can exert this amount of power on me while draining every resistance out from me. Everything I believed during my entire life is left washed upon the seashore while I sink in this immense ocean conquered by your rules.

I can't take this any longer! I'm at wits ends! Don't smother me like that! Don't make me shout out loud for sucking my life out of me! I want to reach out, but I don't know how! Seishiro-san, give me a clue, something. I'm even asking you to help me, damn it! If I could only find the exact words to raise this delicate issue, it'll surely clear my clouded mind, but...

This is useless... I've got nothing to provoke a reaction out of you. Blinded by your unique magic you displayed for me 9 years ago, pitilessly entangles me again slowly. I should resist and break free without any difficulty, but I can't let go of you. You remember me so much of that fatal encounter...

Underneath it all, the 'hesitation' still remains and devastatingly burns my skin.

I encountered Seishiro-san 9 years ago under sakura winds, neh?

Am I right? Won't anyone tell me the truth? Who can open my eyes?

I really don't know what to believe anymore.

The only feeling I get while sensing you is that

I irrefutably belong to 'you' and only you...

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_A/N: I've finished writing this chapter at exactly 1.27 am. Tomorrow's Sunday, and I'm going to sleep till late in the afternoon...I'm so exhausted. Reviews are always welcome and work as herbal tea to stimulate my dead brain cells into life...:P_


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